Blind Confessions
by Ravenus
Summary: When Clint loses his eyesight he desperately needs someone to show him that life will go on. Clint/Natasha. Rated T. COMPLETE!


A/N: Eyes fascinate me :) If you like this story, you might also like "Through your Eyes" and "Open Your Eyes" (Visit my profile for more information).

Enjoy!

Rated T (just **T**o be sure)  
Disclaimer: Not mine…blabla (you know it well)  
Summary: When Clint loses his eyesight he desperately needs someone to show him that life will go on.

**Blind Confessions**

The fight was over, the small group back at their base. Tony was conscious and already making jokes about their last mission even if he was in the infirmary just like Clint and Natasha. All three were lying in the same room and it made agent Romanoff mad that Tony couldn't be serious for just one damn second. Clint was still unconscious, he had lost a lot of blood but Banner was sure that he would wake up within the next few hours. If Tony wouldn't leave before Clint woke up, Natasha would kill him.

She shot him a glance while he was talking to Banner as if nothing had ever happened and as if no one had been injured. Maybe it was his way of getting rid of all the tension, but she hated it. When Stark saw her angry glare he quickly shut up and waited until Bruce left the room before he turned over to her in his bed, groaning when his broken ribs hurt with the effort.

"Natasha, why are you always so serious?" He wanted to know. The question seemed kind of strange, it should be obvious but now that someone asked her she felt at a loss of words. With her mouth wide open Natasha stared at Tony for a whole minute, then it dawned on her and she closed it.

"None of your business." Was all the man got as an answer before the red haired woman looked over to Clint again. She was nervous because the man was still unconscious and Tony's presence made it even worse. She was always serious because she didn't want to lose control. It could cost your life in a battle – or the life of a dear friend. "Have you ever lost someone in a battle? Do you know what it feels like when you don't pay attention and lose a friend?" Natasha blurted out and her harsh tone made Tony flinch. He averted his eyes, his face suddenly had an odd expression of seriousness. She had never seen it on him before.

"Agent Romanoff, I know very well how it feels like to lose somebody. And being responsible for their deaths." Tony said, his voice sharp. "Don't think I'm just my funny and adorable self. Sometimes I'm like you. We all have a past, but we all have just one life. So we should enjoy every second that we have and as we are safe for the time being I will do just that." Natasha would never have thought that Tony would think this far. Or tell her something like this. For a second it was utterly still in the infirmary and the only noise was the even breathing of Clint's breathing.

"I'm sorry, Tony I shouldn't have said this." She answered, her voice not giving away her surprise. He nodded and for the first time since she met this man she felt like he was really some kind of a friend to her. She wasn't used to having friends, she had always worked on her own and so the risk to lose someone you love was very small. If you have nothing to lose your life is the only thing to fight for. But if you have someone to lose you fight for other lives as well, because you want to keep the persons alive. And you want to desperately stay alive yourself, so no one would be upset by your own death. Natasha had never thought about all this. It had always been clear but now it got more vivid.

Tony watched her, while her face changed a few times, what he had just said registering in her mind. "I may be annoying sometimes but I will not give up and be upset all the time because there is a chance of losing someone. I will fight to make sure that everyone is safe and if I lose my life I can say that I have been happy." Tony added. Then he got up from his bed and made his way towards the door. Banner would kill him, but Tony didn't care. He felt great and he needed a shower. Now. "You should try that, too, Natasha. Being happy, I mean." And with this he left the room.

The woman looked at her hands, folded in her lap. She wasn't sure if she was able to follow his advise but what he had told her definitely made sense. With a sigh she turned over towards Clint. His eyes were still closed and he was breathing evenly. She could see a part of his shoulder that was heavily bandaged. He had been shot and lost so much blood that she thought he would die. It wasn't the first time that she feared for him but it got worse every time. Losing him would kill her and when she had found him, his body lying on the building from where he had shot at their enemies she had thought that she had lost him for good this time. Clint's blood had run over her hands and Tony had slapped her hard across the face to bring her back to reality, for all she had been able to do was stare at the wound and the blood. It made her weak that she was so damn afraid to lose him and it also brought danger to the group.

Natasha was lost deep in her thoughts when she finally heard a low groan from Clint. The man stirred in his sleep, then his eyes fluttered open and he looked at the ceiling. The red haired agent was more than happy and got up from her bed to sit down on the edge of his.

"Glad you finally decide to wake up…" She whispered. Clint looked her direction but it puzzled her that he didn't look into her eyes directly.

"Tasha?" He asked, his eyes restlessly searching around as if he didn't see her, his chest rising and falling in a faster rhythm, now, he began to panic. Natasha placed a hand on his shoulder to soothe him.

"Sure. Who else would wait an eternity for you to wake up?" She asked, mocking him, but with a rising feeling of alarm. "Clint look at me." The woman urged him but he wouldn't focus on her eyes.

"It's too dark, I cannot see you." He said, confirming Natasha's fears. 'Shit!' She thought and her hand gently squeezed his shoulder in a reassuring gesture.

"Yes…" She mumbled. "I will get Banner, so he can check on you."

"Please turn on the light on your way out, Natasha." Agent Barton asked her and she gulped, rushing out of the room without giving him an answer. Banner was in his lab like always and when he saw her, he looked disapprovingly at her.

"You should stay in bed. At least for one night, Natasha." He told her with the firm voice of a doctor but when she came closer he could see that something was wrong. "is something wrong with Agent Barton? Or Tony?" She caught her breath and briefly told him what had happened after Clint woke up. Bruce's eyes grew larger and he followed her back to the infirmary where Clint still lay, his eyes unfocused. Natasha stood by Banner's side while he checked on Clint, asking various questions, waving a pen light in front of the man's face.

The longer it took the more nervous she got and impatiently stepped from one foot to the other. Clint's distress was clearly visible on his handsome features and she felt every wave of his panic as if it was her own. In the end Banner switched off his pen light and pressed the archer back into the pillows.

"Tell me, what is wrong?" The man demanded.

"I'm afraid someone hurt your eyes on purpose while you were unconscious. Maybe with a laser light." Banner explained slowly.

"And what does this mean?"

"You are blind."

* * *

Clint sat on the edge of his bed in the infirmary, Natasha on the edge of hers, looking at him. His eyes were cast towards the floor, his hands clasped together while his arms rested on his knees. His shoulder healed well. Nevertheless Natasha had seen the huge discomfort in his eyes, the fear and panic when he thought about being blind for the rest of his life. It would be hard because being blind meant being helpless. He was an archer and needed his eyes. Without them he felt lost. Natasha had very well seen his inner turmoil, she was sure that he even thought about leaving everything behind and it scared her to no end. If he would leave she would as well and God only knew where this might lead her. The thought that scared her most was that she might never see Clint again.

"I know that You're watching me, Tasha. I can feel your eyes on me." It were the first words he spoke since Banner had been here. And they were both depressing and reassuring at the same time. The woman stood up and walked over to him, grabbing his hands and when she was sure that he wouldn't try to make her stop she began to idly play with his fingers. They were calloused, used to firing a bow. She took a deep breath. This was like walking through a minefield, Clint could explode every second and everything would be lost. "I know you're scared, Tasha." He said next before she could say what she so desperately wanted to say. Her hands fell to her side and his hands back into his lap.

He was able to read her mind even without looking at her. This was one of the things why she appreciated him as a close friend. She was also afraid to lose this closeness forever. "Clint…" Romanoff began but her voice trailed off, her words unspoken when the man's head shot up.

"What?" He asked louder than necessary. "You want to beg me to stay, right? You think it will make me feel better, but it will only remind me of how useless I am now." Natasha was taken aback by his outburst and the second he closed his mouth she saw the regret in his sightless eyes, but he didn't apologize. It wasn't really necessary for she understood only too well how he felt, nevertheless it hurt to hear him speak those words.

"You're not useless, Clint. You're a part of the Avengers, like before."

"I would be a very useless part. Perhaps shooting my arrows blindly will amuse our enemies to death…" It stung when he said that but Natasha stood her ground, she was okay with him being angry. Clint shook his head and sighed and when she saw his desperation Natasha felt helpless just like him. "I will leave and live a life on my own. I will only stand in your way, it would be too dangerous to have me here." The red haired women gasped, her worst fears surfacing. Normally she would have herself better under control but this was Clint she had never tried to hide her feelings from him like she hid them from others. He was the only person in the whole world who knew her inside out and she knew him just the same. Natasha Romanoff would not let him go anywhere.

"You'll stay." She said, her voice firm and a bit cold. "You were just told what happened to you and you didn't even have enough time to sort things out." When Clint wanted to say something Natasha cut him off. "Shut up, Clint, I will not give you up!" Natasha yelled at him without thinking before she spoke. That was a serious problem when it came to him: she cared too much and let her feelings guide her when her head knew better. It was very still in the small room, neither saying a word, Natasha didn't even dare to breathe. She even feared that a sob would escape her the second she took a breath. In this moment she realized how much Clint really meant to her and she braced for her next word, doing something she normally never did. "Please stay, Clint." The Black Widow never begged.

The man in front of her took a deep sigh, his shoulders rising when he held his breath. If he was able to see he would now look deep into her eyes, searching for the truth which she knew he would find and it scared her to no end. When he said nothing she got even more nervous, her hands starting to shake. She wasn't her usual self when she was with him – or perhaps she was only her usual self while she was with him. "Clint?" She asked, actually terrified and he just shook his head.

"Natasha, I will be a burden to you. At the moment I need nothing more than a shower but I don't know how to get to my room. It will stay like this for a while and…" His voice trailed off and again he shook his head. "Never mind, Tasha. Just help me get to my room, I will think this over."

The woman helped him get up and he let his hand rest on her shoulder so that she could lead him carefully through the corridors to his own room. They walked very slow, Clint was unsure with his steps and his naked feet tentatively moving with every step. Natasha was fine helping him but she understood how he felt. She would feel the same helplessness and perhaps even consider leaving SHIELD if she was in his situation. But then again Clint would do everything to make her stay… She suppressed a deep sigh and opened the door to his room.

As they had all left in a hurry for their mission there were clothes all over the floor, his bed unmade and the door the adjoining bathroom ajar so that she could see that he had been about to take a shower before he left with her and Tony, Nick Fury calling for them over the intercom. She had been in bed, barely awake, when her bosses voice boomed over the speakers. She too needed a shower. "Clint, I will be in my room, if you need anything or just someone to talk to, I will be there, okay? Just call me." She told him and with a curt nod he waited until she left his room, then went to the bathroom.

* * *

Tony stretched when he walked out of the lab, his back making cracking sounds. He was glad that Bruce wasn't with him, he would tease him and tell him he was an old man. Ironman made his way to his room, his was tired, his head ached and he wanted to call Pepper, he was missing her badly. Working for SHIELD was a nice challenge but his own company – Stark Industries – suffered. It was Pepper who did most of his work now and she understood that he was working for Fury at the moment.

Lost deep in his thoughts Tony did not realize at first that Clint was coming his way, a bag over his shoulder and his hands against the wall, carefully taking one step after the other. It was not unusual that he met one of the other agents but Clint was supposed to stay with Natasha and not stroll around blindly as long as he wasn't used to it. And it would take some more time, Tony was sure.

"Hawkeye." He greeted and stepped up in front of the man whose eyes didn't focus on his face. "You going on a holiday?" Tony threw his arm around Clint's shoulder.

"Just forget you saw me, Tony." Clint answered and confirmed Tony's assumption. Hawkeye wanted to run from them.

"I'm a genius, Clint, forgetting is not an option." The slightly smaller man tried to push him away while he was talking. "Hell, you would need an eternity to get where you want. Shall I give you a ride?" Tony asked next and began to lead the archer down the corridor with his arm firmly locked around his shoulders. Clint had no other option than to follow him. It was hard to lead the man, he wanted to move on his own, but Tony wouldn't let him. Without hesitation he lead Clint back to his room and shoved him so that the man fell onto his bed, while Tony pushed the intercom button.

"Natasha, Hawkeye wants to leave us. Maybe you should come over and talk him out of it." They heard Natasha's answer crackling over the speaker before Tony turned towards Clint. "I will leave you two alone, I guess you have a lot to talk about. You're an egoist, Clint." He said before he left the room.

"Bastard!" The archer yelled after him and wanted to get up from the bed only to be pushed down again by firm hands.

"You're the bastard, Clint, not Tony or anyone else!" Natasha's voice said to him. She sounded so hurt… "You can leave or stay but I want you to know something before you decide, okay?" She asked, trying to stay calm. Hesitantly Hawkeye nodded, still sitting, his legs crossed underneath him. He heard Natasha pacing in front of him.

"Right." He said, sounding tight. He was glad that he didn't have to look into her eyes right now. He had made his decision, he would leave. Today. And nothing she could say would make him stay. He hated his situation but he had to live with it. The others wouldn't have to live with it.

"I was restless before you found me and made me join SHIELD." Natasha began. She had crossed her arms in front of her chest and braced. This wouldn't be easy. "But when I came with you, you made me feel at home, you gave me a reason to live for."

"I just brought you here." He interrupted and she got angry.

"Keep your mouth shut while I speak!" She demanded before she went on. "You brought me here but you also cared that I got a better agent. You challenged me in more than one way and I feel like I owe you a lot. I know you don't see it this way, because you're too good natured. And you know me so well that it scares me, you are the only person in this world I trust so deeply. I know that I can trust you because you never disappointed me, you were always there when I needed you and I couldn't stand it if you just walked away." Her voice got very quiet, her words barely audible. "It hurts because I love you." She confessed which made his head shot up in her direction, he got up and walked towards her voice but she was already by the door.

"I'm sorry, Clint." The archer had never – not even once – heard her cry but this time her voice cracked and she sobbed. "Go, if you want to. Now you know everything about me. Take it with you or leave it behind, because if you will leave now we will never meet again." She wouldn't stay either. She couldn't.

"Tasha…" He heard the door close and covered his face with his hands. Hawkeye already knew what she had told him but they both had never confessed until now, afraid that they would destroy their friendship. It didn't matter anymore for he would destroy it the second he walked out of her life. For a few seconds he didn't know what to do. Tony had called him an egoist for he wanted to leave SHIELD – and Tasha. Ironman seemed to know what went on between him and Natasha and for the first time Clint realized that it must be pretty obvious for every other agent in SHIELD: Shit. He had fucked up royally. Tony was right, he was a bastard.

Clint knew everything about Natasha and he should have known that she would care for him in this situation and that she did it gladly. He wasn't a burden to her, he was a burden to himself. If she wanted to leave SHIELD he would bind her in chains to make her stay – even if he was sure that chains were useless for the Black Widow. Never would he let her go and she was just the same.

The archer's hands searched for the door handle and he went out into the corridor, his steps sure because he had walked over to Natasha's room a hundred times, he could walk over in his sleep. Without knocking he opened the door and went inside. "Tasha?" He asked but was greeted by silence. Listening for full five minutes he just stood there, listening. Agent Romanoff wasn't here. There was another possibility but it would take him a while to get to the gym and so he left her room behind and walked on to the gym. She would be there, he should have known.

Showing her feelings in front of others always made her edgy and she often went to the gym afterward. Natasha would now be beating the shit out of some sandbags. Clint smiled when he thought about it. The Black Widow moved gracefully, he loved to watch her movements. He would never see it again.

When he reached the door he was looking for his smile became wider, he could hear her screaming from time to time. She was really full of rage, her hate burning endlessly in her. He sneaked in and now he also heard the sound of her fists hitting the bag in a fast rhythm, followed by another scream. The archer was sure that she didn't know he was there, she was too lost in her movements and so he walked over to her, his arms stretched out in front of him until he touched her back.

Natasha started and spun around, gripping his wrists and throwing him down onto the mat, his back hitting the floor hard and the breath knocked out of him. He had expected this reaction. Hard knees were pressed onto his shoulders not a second later when she knelt above his body, her fist raised in anger. "You selfish, ignorant, dumb bastard!" The Black Widow cursed him before she punched him. Clint knew her all too well. He held up his hand, catching her fist that threatened to break his arm when she his him full force into his open hand.

"Guess I deserve this." He said.

"You deserve even worse, Clint." She spat out angrily, her intense feelings sending shivers down his spine. He loved her temperament. "How dare you doing this to me?"

"I won't, Tasha, I'll stay." He said and felt her body lose all its tension. She gasped in surprise and he used her temporary confusion to grab her shoulders and shift their position so that he was on top of her now, his body pressed against hers, his face just inches from her face. "I'll stay if you say it again. I want to hear you say it again." His breath tickled over her lips and she shivered underneath him, the slight movement making him coming down even further, his chest against hers.

"Clint…" She whispered, her voice hushed with desire but he shook his head.

"Tell me again that you love me." He urged her. Natasha's hands came up to caress his short hair, gently playing with the soft strands. She smiled and looked into his blind eyes and in this very second they were focused directly on her eyes, looking as intense as before. He was so strong willed and his body equally strong. She forgot everything in his presence because when she was with him she could let go.

"I love you, Clint." She whispered and a silent tear fell onto her face before he leaned down to claim her lips in a passionate kiss. Natasha could feel everything when their lips met. His love for her, his desperation, his fears, his desire and his happiness. A small whimper escaped her chest. Gods, where had he learned to kiss like this? Her world faded and her hands grabbed his shoulders, her fingernails gently raking over his exposed arms, passion building up inside her.

Clint's hands were all over her body, roaming down over her shirt, moving back up under it, caressing her soft skin. She arched her body into those gentle touches, his calloused hands driving her insane. He only came up for air when Natasha moaned into his lips, her head falling back. He took the opportunity to kiss her exposed neck, up to her ear where his breath caressed the sensitive shell. "I love you." He whispered.

"Please, Clint… Show me." She said and made him smile.

He did.

* * *

**FIN**

* * *

_**Please review? :)**_


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